2016… another year that marks a turning point in my life. Has been the toughest year to go through post 2007, which too was a life changing year for my life. I still remember on 31st Dec 2015 I chanced upon an app to know what 2016 would be like and i got the word ” CHANGE” . I had an OMG gulp and this feeling of restlessness. What was going to change now and why ? I didn’t know what to expect but I was nervous and how. What followed starting Jan was the craziest roller coaster ride of my life, I have been on. Each day felt like I was caught in a Sci fiction Matrix. I felt surrounded my Mirrors, Illusions, Mazes, Mirages, Codes in words and symbol formats that were beyond my understanding. Everything felt magnified or as if something kept relentlessly drilling deep within my core. I had constant WTF just happened moments and at times OMG magical ones too.
I met people who mirrored my faults, weaknesses, reactions, perceptions, situations etc. I felt as if situations were being re-created to show me the truth of the other side where I had felt a victim in my past, which on hind side wasn’t the whole truth of that moment, my deep routed fears I didn’t know even existed were uprooted and magnified right in front of my face till i gathered the courage to see them face to face and choose “Love” over them, my core was shaken and I felt as if I was giving an exams that I kept failing at miserably, my concepts/ideas/beliefs where challenged at every stage, i was made to question if all my conditioning were even my own? I was made to reach out to people from my past I was not in touch with yet who I needed to complete with, apologize, and get an apology from, my faith was tested at every step in all aspects of my life. I was made to disconnect from the world at large, taught to enjoy aloness, I struggled time and again, to find my place and felt i didn’t fit in anywhere. I was forced to face my own self, eye to eye and i found myself questioning all year round “Who really Am I ? ” It has been the scariest painful ride, feels like i went through a cosmic postmortem of sort at body, mind, heart and soul level. Funny part was my illusion of any form of control has completely shattered too.
Just by saying, Thank God 2016 is over is not going to change any facts and happenings. However the only thing that has helped me survive is my courage to “Hang in” there and ” Allow” the upheal to happen, trusting there was a larger picture and some day it will reveal itself to me. I surely was divinely supported too, I was sent to magical high energy places to travel to which were neither on my list or i even knew they existed. Most often this journey was alone and many times i was sent people on these journeys, who came, uplifted me and left without me even knowing their names or a promise to meet again.The year has revealed to me parts of me that i didn’t know existed or was in denial of. I truly have begun to understand myself and love the person that has always existed within but just begun emerging. It’s truly been a journey inside out and has started me on direction of my souls calling…I still don’t know where I am headed, yet I know from my core this time…the real journey has just begun!
As 2016 ends, I want to express my deep Gratitude to the magnificent year it has been, for the craziest shake up that was long due or blessed few get to experience and for giving me a glimpse of my new journey that still is revealing itself step by step …